BDSM Bisexuals weekend 22-23 March 2014

BDSM-bisexuals

weekend event, 22-23 March 2014

Birmingham


BDSM-bisexuals event main page


About this BDSM-bisexuals event and you

This BDSM-bisexuals weekend is being organised by me, Grant Denkinson and some helpful volunteers. I hope everyone will take part in making the space welcoming and good for all.

Ethos:

I want the whole diverse range of human consensual sexual and kink interests and practices to be accepted and appreciated, and for everyone to be supported in being themselves fully. I would like people to use the event to think about, talk about and perhaps explore their own sexuality and interests. I want there to be clear boundaries around consent and risk-aware consensual kink. I want people to be able to find and form friendships and community with like-minded others or feel happily not intruded upon. I want to lower any barriers to full participation.

Consent:

Nobody should be forced, coerced, pressured or feel they are doing anything without positive, enthusiastic and free choice. That includes conversation or any form of touch whether a hug, a handshake or sexual or kink play.

I like Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy's idea of consent an active collaboration for the benefit, well-being and pleasure of all persons concerned.

Entering power exchanges in play or lifestyle can be lovely: that must be done with informed consent. Competent adults may choose to take certain risks and everyone should be aware of any risks they are taking and make good choices for themselves.

It is fine to ask someone once if they would like to do something. Please listen to the answer. This is a "no hassle" event: don't pester. Make sure you have a positive "yes" before doing something with someone and check they are continuing to want to do it.

It is fine to decline to speak with someone or say no to any sort of touch. The organiser, a volunteer or venue staff would be happy to have a quiet word with someone if you'd rather not do it yourself.

Listen out for "Stop", "Actually, I think I need a break", "That was nice but I'd like to do something different with you now", "Erm, I don't want to continue with this conversation right now", "I don't want company, thanks" or look for a shake of the head or a hand raised in a "Stop" gesture.

If you are unsure on consent please ask. If you feel your consent is not being respected by anyone I would like to know about it. I will try to resolve any problems if you want including speaking to the people concerned, asking them to stay away from you or asking them to leave for significant or repeated offences.

Sometimes people want to say words like "no" while still wanting to continue playing: Some people use a "safeword" or "stop word" in that situation: a word that everyone involved knows means "No. I do not consent". The word could be "Safeword" or some folks like traffic light colours: "Red" means "Stop Now", "Yellow" means "Pause, let's talk". "Green" means "More please!"

At the play-party, if you want to play in this way please tell the nearest member of staff / people immediately around you. Otherwise, hearing a "no" means someone may interrupt your scene to check for consent.

Diversity:

People at this event are not all the same. You may see a variety of bodies, dress, behaviour, communication and identification.

Some people in society are regularly disadvantaged compared to more privileged others and this happens in the BDSM and bisexual communities too. I want to take a clear stance on this event being an actively anti-oppressive space. Prejudice is not acceptable whether intentional or not. Sometimes may of us inadvertently make assumptions about people different from ourselves. Please apologise and learn from any mistakes.

I am interested in knowing if anyone notices racism, sexism, homophobia or other prejudice at this event and will act to try to resolve any incidents and prevent future ones.

Some people very much enjoy playing out being characters that are not their usual lives and having other people be in all sorts of roles. Please don't assume that some people will want to be in certain roles because of their age, colour, class or size say. If you are playing with power dynamics that exist in wider society then your play might be affected by them and also affect them.

Confidentiality:

Treat what people say as confidential. It is OK to pass on ideas but not identify people in conversations with others. Be aware that there may be serious consequences for some people if they were "outed".

Photography:

Photos are fine (with consent) in a room specifically marked for the purpose - let me know if you would like such a space. Otherwise, no photography in the venue.

Gender:

I think gender is complicated and there are still disadvantages and privileges in the world depending on gender and how you perform it. Please treat people as the gender they choose to treat themselves as. Single-gender spaces (if any) are open to all identifying as that gender.

Cleanliness:

Please help keep the venue clean and tidy.

Feel free to eat and drink in the social areas.

No food, drinks, glasses or cups (other than water in plastic or metal bottles) in the play / workshop session rooms.

Please clean any dungeon furniture after use and don't get fluids on the carpets.

Quiet / chill-out space:

There will be space available as quiet / chill-out space throughout the event. Please keep such rooms calm and quiet. It is not a play space or a social space.

Dress:

Dress up if you like for some or all of the event or don't if you don't feel like it. Anything from jeans and a T-shirt to full fetish wear is fine. Nudity is fine. The only restriction is that overtly racist or fascist symbols are not allowed (e.g. Nazi regalia).

Food:

Please keep yourselves well fed and hydrated to maximise everyone's happiness! A lunch buffet will also be available for free each day. However, please take responsibility for making sure you eat well. There are places at the venue where you can eat food you bring yourself.

Drink:

The day venue sells tea / coffee etc. and also has a bar. The evening place is help yourself or bring what you will. I don't encourage people to drink alcohol, and anyone drunk will be asked to leave before they damage anyone or themselves.

Smoking:

There are clearly labelled rooms where smoking is permitted. Otherwise it is not.

Drugs:

Illegal drugs will not be tolerated in the venue. If anyone appears to not be able to give informed consent they will be asked to leave.

Daytimes:

During the day I am aiming for the atmosphere of a convention rather than an orgy! Feel free to listen and chat about kink or try things out in demonstration sessions but please wait until the play-party to do more BDSM play.

There will be assorted workshop sessions. If you go to a session and it isn't for you for any reason you can leave at any time.

At the party:

The Facility staff will be looking after our play-party. If you have any questions please feel free to ask them. Most play is fine within the constraints of risk-aware consensual kink.

Please give priority to space in the play rooms for people wanting to play, followed by those watching. There is social space elsewhere in the venue.

Watching is generally fine. You are responsible for your own safety. Don't get too close and get hurt or interfere with what others are doing. Please don't interfere by talking unless those playing invite comments.

Unless you have safety or consent concerns please do not interrupt people playing. If you are interested in joining in keep a respectful distance and you will be visible if someone wants to invite you.


BDSM-bisexuals event main page


Please do get in touch with any questions.


Contact:

email: info@bdsm-bisexuals.org.uk or grantdenkinson@hushmail.com

phone / text: 07775 164815

Write: c/o BCN, BM Ribbit, London WC1N 3XX - with thanks to Bi Community News

All information given to me will be used for running this event only not given away or sold.


Last modified by Grant Denkinson, 2014.3.20

Logo by Gina Cox-Roberts www.brandingbyg.co.uk